Are you ready to embrace your power?

A long time ago I had a heated conversation with other women friends about the word ‘power’.  They all hated that word. To them it meant ‘power over’ and ‘abuse of’.  I was the only one who loved that word. To me, power means, the power to make a difference, to influence an outcome, to take control over your own life and make things happen.

But, as those women justifiably felt, power can be a double-edged sword but not in the obvious sense.

shutterstock_157192814When you’re powerful you put your head above the parapet, stand up and be counted.

What does it mean to be powerful?

When you Read more »

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The 5 things that need to be in place for you to be truly happy

Many years ago I noticed that, as much as I love buying stuff, it only makes me temporarily happy. One minute I’m ecstatic about my new top, booking my holiday by the sea, the stunning piece of furniture I’ve coveted for months – and then, not long after I got it, the buzz is gone.

And I noticed other things too, for example, everything is going really well for me but I’m feeling miserable. Or things that used to frustrate the hell out of me, no longer disturb this lovely feeling of peace and joy. How can that be?

The words speak for themselves

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Here’s how to create your destiny

hThere’s this wonderful book, ‘How Full Is Your Bucket?’ by Tom Rath and Donald O. Clifton, that argues that even the briefest interactions affect your relationship with yourself and everybody else. It affects your productivity, your health and wellbeing, and even how long you live! More than that, the quality of your interactions affect the way you feel about yourself and, from there, the choices you make. It’s, therefore, not a stretch to see that your very destiny depends on how full your bucket is.

My most recent experience of this was Read more »

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Now you can change your relationships in 7 days!

How did you like the headline?  Did you immediately click to find out how you can do this? Did you read it all in one go, felt hopeful, willing to follow the tips? Did they work? No? I didn’t think so.

I’ve have always been interested in personal development. I must have read hundreds and hundreds of books in my thirties and forties. I was always attracted to titles that promised, that this time, I would really be able to change my relationships, my life even.

When nothing changed I would beat myself up, blaming myself for the failure.

My first book, ‘Across a Crowded Room: Finding and Keeping the Love of your Life’ fell into that category – not that I realised it at the time.

There was a young man who Read more »

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What’s stopping you from living to your highest potential?

Research into most regrets that people experience when they are nearing death is not around what they have done in their life that went wrong but what they haven’t. Even at the time, when faced with going after a dream and the opportunity was there – all you had to do is reach out for it and then, there it was, your Gremlin, your inner critical chatterbox pushing your buttons – “I haven’t got the time”, “I haven’t got the money”, “I’m not good enough”, “I don’t know enough”, “I’m not capable”, and so on and on and on.

"I feel safe here - but I wonder what's out there..."

“I feel safe here – but I wonder what’s out there…”

The fear is not just of failure but also fear of success. Success might mean having to leave behind family and friends, having to stick your neck out, and so on.

The first category falls under the heading of ‘limiting beliefs’ which is also driven by fear – of rejection or abandonment, fear of failure and even fear of your own brilliance, talents and gifts.

For most of my adult life I was Read more »

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Do you want to change other people? Here’s how…

"You should talk! You're the most untidy person I know!"

“You should talk! You’re the most untidy person I know!”

As a child it was explicitly drummed into me that I needed other people’s goodwill for my emotional, even physical survival. As a result, I became a people-pleaser. I became a chameleon turning myself into whatever I believed other people wanted me to be. So it won’t surprise you when I tell you that I was absolutely terrified of conflict.

Standing up for myself was Read more »

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