How the power of kindness can transform your life

It was always important to me to make a difference in some way but, most of the time, I just didn’t know how.

Then I met Helen. I’d gone to a workshop in London and Helen happened to be sitting next to me. I never felt particularly comfortable in large groups so I developed a strategy to cover me during the breaks.  I’d amble to the window and looked out, pretending to be absorbed by the view.

But this time was different. When the break was announced, Helen turned to me and asked “would you like a glass of water?” Nothing special or  Read more »

Share on FacebookTweet about this on TwitterShare on Google+Share on LinkedInPin on Pinterest

How changing my story changed my life

Here’s a question: What story are you telling yourself about yourself?

"I didn't realise how capable I am!"

“I didn’t realise how capable I am!”

We have stories we tell ourselves about anything and everything – ourselves, other people and life in general. A personal favourite of mine is the ‘helpless’ story. This one is – or could have been – mine:

“After 37 years, I decided I deserved better and finally left my marriage.

Of course, it was his fault. I had a list of complaints as long as my arm: everything he said or didn’t say; everything he did or didn’t do – that left me feeling resentful, frustrated, angry and hurt.

People I thought were friends walked away.  I felt abandoned. I kept talking about my feelings all the time; I just couldn’t help it. It all seemed so unfair.”

Here’s Read more »

Share on FacebookTweet about this on TwitterShare on Google+Share on LinkedInPin on Pinterest

You can choose how to age

Many people find the idea of growing older quite daunting. They believe that ageing means both physical and mental decline, one that starts right after they retire. What nonsense!

The older person isn’t the only one who believes it’s all the way to ‘the Pearly Gates’, as Felicity (not her real name), one member of my u3a group (University of the Third Age) put it when she first joined my Life Enhancing Group that I run in Twickenham almost a year ago. Their families seem to believe it too.  By the way, Felicity has completely turned her mindset around and is now a joy to behold!

FlowerbedGrace (not her real name), another member, told us that her daughter Read more »

Share on FacebookTweet about this on TwitterShare on Google+Share on LinkedInPin on Pinterest

When a crisis happens, are you in your own safe hands?

Here’s a question: “How do you know you can really trust yourself to deal with life’s challenges, crises and disappointments?”

Life happens – there’s no getting away from it. What’s not a given is how we respond to those challenges, large or small. People deal with them in different ways some of which are healthier than others.

"This is hopeless! I can't deal it!"

“This is hopeless! I can’t deal it!”

Excessive Read more »

Share on FacebookTweet about this on TwitterShare on Google+Share on LinkedInPin on Pinterest

Never have grotty relationships again!

I was recently talking with Sally (not her real name), a friend of mine. She’s a lovely person, the kind that is always there for you. The trouble is, she’s always complaining that she doesn’t get much back so she tends to end up exhausted and resentful.

"After all I've done for them!"

“After all I’ve done for them!”

Sally is a people-pleaser, trying to be all things to all people but, as I’ve said to her again and again – it’s clearly not working for her. Bottom line, she’s not a happy woman. And she’s definitely not the only one. Read more »

Share on FacebookTweet about this on TwitterShare on Google+Share on LinkedInPin on Pinterest

Is this how you’re creating your life?

You should visit more often!

You should visit more often!

One of the things we often do as we grow older is looking back at our life and relationships and wonder, “what have I done to deserve this?! I’m a good person! What am I doing wrong?!” Sometimes you also think, “After all I’ve done for them!”

It’s frustrating, I know. So here’s a hint.

Take a look at your expectations. How do you identify your expectations? You recognise them when you Read more »

Share on FacebookTweet about this on TwitterShare on Google+Share on LinkedInPin on Pinterest