A new model for ageing

Ever since I decided to work with senior and professional people nearing retirement – who are dreading it, I started a process of my own around my own age – 67.  Although nothing in me fits any of the criteria as dictated by social norms such as appearance (I’m blessed with great genes), health and wellbeing, and the way I think and act, I was still wondering “is this it?”

Surveys into the perception Continue Reading…

Am I Lying to Myself? – From Confusion to Clarity

I grew up believing that telling the truth is something we tell another person. But that’s only part of the story.

In reality, the most important person we actually need to tell the truth to is – ourselves.

We lie to ourselves all the time. In my younger days my self-deceptions revolved around my self image. Every time I opened my mouth and started a sentence with “I like to think I am (honest, truthful, reliable, loving or a good friend”), that was my way of trying to look good to myself. Continue Reading…

Love as Burden

We tend to believe that loving somebody is a straight-forward thing to do. It is not. It is intricately complex, bound up in all kinds of values and beliefs about how love should be expressed in different situations and with different people.

However, there is one aspect of loving – apart from with children – which could be more widely applied. Those of us who read spiritual literature invariably come across the injunction that we need to love unconditionally. This is something I have always resisted, even resented. Continue Reading…

Why My Home is Important to Me

When I finally decided to leave my marriage of 37 years I was left with a dilemma: given that we’d agreed to split everything 50-50 I had to ask myself, “where can I afford to live?”

In the year before the house we’d shared for 22 years was finally sold I had a mantra:

“I have a two bedroom flat with trees and green I can look out on, that costs £116,000 – a place where I really and truly belong – in Welwyn Garden City” – a mantra I would constantly repeat to myself. Continue Reading…

Why do I Love Cooking

Cooking has always been a hobby of mine but over the last few years I’ve noticed a difference in my attitude about what cooking actually means to me.

One of the non-negotiable criteria that guided the choice of my home (the one that would make my heart beat faster) when I was still house hunting was that it had to have a dining room. That’s the space where I would invite my friends and people I really like and prepare something that I hope they will enjoy. Continue Reading…