How changing my story changed my life

Here’s a question: What story are you telling yourself about yourself? We have stories we tell ourselves about anything and everything – ourselves, other people and life in general. A personal favourite of mine is the ‘helpless’ story. This one is – or could have been – mine: “After 37 […] Read more »

Self-sabotage and other destructive behaviours

‘Sabotaging yourself’, ‘letting yourself down’, ‘betraying yourself’ – each of them are very strong expressions. The obvious question would be: “why would we do a thing like that?”.  My answer is “probably because we don’t realise we’re doing it”.  But we do experience the results even though we don’t realise […] Read more »

Love and loss happens but don't be afraid to try again

Despite the deeply personal nature of this blog I feel compelled to share my experience because I believe the message is important. I was married for 37 years and, just over 8 years ago, I took the painful step of leaving my marriage. I did it because I finally admitted […] Read more »

Setbacks: catastrophes or opportunities?

When things go wrong most people’s reaction is frustration and disappointment.  That’s understandable. However, setbacks, disappointments and failures have a useful role to play in our personal growth and development. I had an exploratory meeting with a client once and I asked him, “what do you do when you have […] Read more »

What’s Wrong with Having Expectations? (Part 1)

Expectations are like a double-edged sword – some are absolutely appropriate, even helpful, some are out of date and some are positively harmful. As clients begin working with me and begin to learn to know themselves better they start to notice their expectations – the ones that work well for […] Read more »